Tuesday, February 7, 2012

He giggled, He chuckled, I nearly choked…


[Smirk] What will someone read between these lines?
"He giggled, he chuckled, I nearly choked…"
Miss A would suggest, there she goes falling in love again.
Well, sorry to disappoint you but "nope"…[haha]
This was a body language that I read from someone because he found "the matter" he just spoke was crazily funny but I was embarrassed by it. Not a "good one" but a throw-me-into-the-ditch kind of embarrassment.
People always quotes that nobody's perfect but this particular person is some kind of narcissist [well at least what I thought he was cause I'm a no FBI-profiler material]. But all due respect he is someone that I really respect because of his position in the educational system and the knowledge that he posses. It's always his demeanor that some kind of struck me in the heart because respect is to be earned remember?
Back to me; I'm still a self-loathing person but not a "ugly-grooming-my-barbie -doll" kind of self-loathing. I still loved myself but I hate myself for not trying harder to achieve greater things in my life to avoid all these hateful circumstances in life. I hate to hear people criticized or mock me. They were like
"Cockroaches; You kill one, and then three more pop ups in its place,"
But hey, where's that wall-like-face Lyanna go? You should stay stronger and carry on with life. If anyone could matter right now, I would only be my parents and my siblings. If anyone should be making you head-over-heels in the moment right now, it should be my parents, my siblings, and baby Nurul Iman Humairah….NO "boy-wander-doctor-wannabe" can stop me…or his" 23-year-old-cousin-struck-by-a-love-at-first-side-I-don't-know-since-when" gonna halt me.
It had gotten me since childhood that, I may be friendly-if-you-know-me and approachable-if-you-know-how and liking-lovey-dovey-stuff and listening to love-define-well written & composed songs, but I don't mingles with boys if I have absolutely no business with them…And Love is not a business, okay.

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