"I'm not stupid" ~suddenly I remembered about this Singapore movie title. If I'm not mistaken, the movie was about Chinese children that are not so good in English, in their school (in Singapore). However they manage to cope with English together with their friends and family. good lor..(^^). Chinese people always struggle for their own place anywhere they were. I hope Malay people will always be like that too.
Yesterday was one of those tough days...My whole class were having our Pediatric's presentation for the first time in front of all the lecturers in my department. I presented the topic "Progressive Hearing Loss among Pediatrics". By the end of the presentations, our lecturers gave out their comments and all I can remember was that they were not very happy with most of our presentations. Sad, it really struck my heart. I felt really bad for my class. Although, I really felt like all my friends did present well, but hearing those kind of comments, I just can't stop felling bad for myself and started to find where my mistakes were. huhu. Oh Allah, I realized, that, I am not quite good in accepting critics..huhu (T_T). I shouldn't be, right?
By the end of the day I ended up cleaning my room. Hehe! I mopped my room, I mopped the stairs, I mopped the corridor...I don't quite know how to settle down this "regret" and "hopeless" feelings of mine. Oh, ottokeyo!.
After I heard every comments from my lecturers earlier, I was like "Is it that bad?" huhu. Maybe deep in my heart, I felt like "I should clean up this mess, stop felling bad for yourself for god sake!". At first, I was wondering around in my room when I got back..then I started to play with my laptop..then eventually I ended up mopping the floor with all these "regrets" and "hopeless" thought playing in my head. hehe. really funny. I guest that's how I settle down these crazy stuff that stuck in my head.
Today, I woke up with these "awkward" feelings. "Huh, am I going to class?". oh, I am. All these weird questions and self-answering stuff keep popping in my mind. As I entered the class, I took a deep breath and I said to myself "Yesterday was just one of those tough days of mine,". Alhamdulillah, my mind was calm and I was able to "suck up" all the lectures today including extra-class (masking topic) with kak fiza was going smooth.. only that I realized I'm not breathing normally, (I usually have normal kind of inhale and exhale) but today I was inhaling deeply- holding it longer than usual and exhaling it with a heavy sigh. huhu, am I still upset? with who? with myself of course. Lyanna, learn from mistakes.
"Kerana manusia rasa bangga bila dipuja, dan rasa kerdil bila dihina," ~ I knew I shouldn't be like that. Ingat pesan mama, "Jangan cepat melatah," ~I knew she's always right. ummi.
